More trouble at Wren's Fruits - vows to fight for market share until he's Finnish

On Upper Westphalia’s Ordo Ave Wren’s Fruits are cooking up a storm. The people of Europe cannot get enough of his apples, pears and mighty oranges. But there’s trouble afoot. Diminutive Wren told passers-by, ‘There’s a hole at the heart of my finances. Shuttering the store gets closer by the day’.


Wren’s customer base is fraught with divisions and old friends threaten to bail in favour of farmers’ mart purveyor of meat alternatives, Pigscexit Inc. The feathered colossus remains chirpy saying ‘I vow to fight for market share until I’m Finnish’.


Analysts at Schafter and Djicblum forecast sharp falls in fruit stocks. State Employment Minister, Deesa Memorandus said,


‘Wren can rest assured we’ll care for him post-resolution. I’d be more than happy to personally activate his benefit recipient role and facilitate the speedy reinsertion of the labour market into his Weltanschauung. Failing that he could always get another job.’


For more on Wren's Fruits see previous blog.